Some families are serious and spend their time talking about the “important” things in life, comparing term life insurance, mortgage rates, investments and stock portfolios. Me and mine. we like to send insulting videos to each other, preferable of something that will upset the other person, or at the very least give a giggle.
I share my latest goody I sent to my baby brother, who made it worth it by almost peeing he laughed so long, before becoming upset as he wondered which group I may have been suggesting he was.
This is so not politically correct, you’ve been warned, I don’t want emails about it. I mean the name alone should tip you off.
Why you should never go to the zoo with Tracey: she learned from years of my fathers wisdom that you dont need to outrun the bear, just the person your with. She applies that philosophy to Lions as well.
Wheeeeeeeee, I have the day off today, after putting in 25 hours of work in 2 days today is freedom. Which gives me a chance to catch up on everything I have to do before leaving, including checking out travel insurance (or does my insurance cover everything because I am currently covered in Europe anyway? Turns out that my motorcycle insurance covers all the countries I want to visit without having to get extra). I also need to enjoy this sunshine, so not TOO much internet time today.
This describes German roads in a way I never could. Good for a giggle, and come July 5th should I fail (which I am not planning to do, but who knows in this country what I am actually SUPPOSE to do on the roads at any given point in time), well you have a better idea why I might have.
So yes, July 5th I dance the happy dance, or I scream cry and curse.
Germans Drive Binary (I have had my instructor yell at me for not racing up to a red light at full speed,as well as for not accelerating at “full gas” when I see the yellow about to go green.)
Sigh, I may be able to start the bike on a mountain (a requirement of the test) but if I fail because I dont fly out of a red light I will dropkick.
What is the first thing you expect when a friend calls and shrieks into your ear OH MY GOD I JUST NEED A GIRLFRIEND TO TALK TO RIGHT NOW. You start to think that you will be off with her to help her pick out baby bedding, instead it turns out that it was a missed train, (and I know this pain and this rage as you realize that you are stuck in the middle of Germany for the next 3 hours to stare at a train wall and think about all the pain you would like to inflict upon the mother f**ker who messed up your life by screwing with the perfect German timetable and causing you to be 5 minutes late and therefore 4 hours longer as you miss your only connection for the foreseeable future.)
But that makes me breathe easier. But figured I would share that little blip as the day has been completely uneventful otherwise.
I passed, I passed, I passed!!! I got the do you run over children question (worth 5 points) wa ha, and the math question came with 3 possibly answers which I always just pick the highest, and it worked!!!
Me leaving TUV (ok on the Black Devil, but whatever, still a motorcycle helmet!) : waha!!
Although I do have a question, I was sent a link on natural acne treatment, which is all fine and dandy, however I have noticed that since I have started motorcycling the past 3 years my skin has become crappier. Is it the wind? The sun baking me through the visor? Or just age?
As well as a place to vent frustration, but studying for this test is driving me mad, one moment it asks can you drive without car insurance? Or my favorite - there is a child in the middle of the street, but they are not on a cross walk, do you continue driving anyway? (The variation on this is “a car has pulled out in front of you, do you wave your priority or continue on to a head on collision?”).
The next question: You are driving at 100 kms an hour, you have a reaction time of one second, and the road is wet with a wind velocity of (insert cruel number here) - what is your stopping distance?
My brother has ADD, before you groan and roll your eyes (as I often do whenever declares themselves to be ADD), this is one case where he was not medicated for the sake of medication and lack of consistent rules from my parents. There are real cases of ADD out there, and there are kids out there who know that there are no consequences for their actions, and therefore act accordingly. My brother learned to love soap as a kid, and spent more time in his room or rubbing his ass because he did not understand the concept of consequences. For him life existed now, (and for that matter it still does) and there lies the difference. If you think to yourself, Im not going to get into trouble, or lasting trouble at least, chances are your just a brat, if you dont even get that far in your logical reasoning, chances are your ADD.
And my brother put my family through enough crap that I am allowed to make such sweeping generalizations, let the hate mail begin.
However I wonder if it rubs off somehow. I have 3 hours off this afternoon, and I really wanted to take advantage of it to study for my written theory exam. Instead I am reading blogs (but refraining from commenting, as if that makes it all ok ) and checking out equestrian clothing, because I confess, I thought it had to do with white robes and tin foil hats.
Anyone want to throw 95 Euros out the window?? (That is what the written test costs). Come over and hang out with me for the afternoon then.
Sigh
See cant be ADD, I know the consequences and I feel guilty about it.
My German class is over not to start again until September, and we don’t plan on being back until the beginning of October. I still speak like a 3 year old, but my reading and listening is starting to go up. So I have done it, I have bought my first proper book. (As in not staring Pumuckle):
(although I do really want this stamp anyway). But I have purchased a book aimed at adults, in particular women, as I have bought my first romance novel period. As a teen I loved horror novels in the Kinglet style like Dean Koontz and comics (the closest I got was V.C. Andrews in grade 6 and 7, and that shit is just f*&ked up),then in univeristy I was introduced to Canadian and Russian lit, and so I missed out on the romance genre. Actually I read Gone With The Wind and loved it, but I dont see myself venturing that way in German any time soon!
I never thought I was missing anything. But its almost as much fun as Pumuckle with tortured decisions between wrong and worse men, and a life of jet setting in private jet charters before they finally make the decision needed. Next time Im trying for a historical fiction with Fabio on the cover. I may not be able to speak, but then the stuff I’m picking up in these I may not want to.
This weekend’s goal is to buy motorcycle pants for the upcoming trip. My old ones, though adequate, have become a little too tight. This of course saddens me to no end. My regular clothes seem fine, even if maybe not so roomy, but my motorcycle pants went from being comfy with jeans on under them (which apparently is just freaky anyway) to wearable, but not comfortable. And since we are living in our gear for the most part, I need them to fit and fit well.
SO my suspicion has been confirmed by the scales, and the bike, and ugh. And after watching my friends battle their eating disorders (and yes, s as in plural, with three confirmed and open about their struggle) I know I should ignore the creeping feeling of disgust, and either accept the fact or adjust my eating habits and head to the gym more. (With my membership I pay for and barely use).
Why is it then that despite years of feminism and activism behind me that instead of accepting my body shape (which I wont describe as entirely new because after my car accident I gained 25 pounds, which I then lost again a year later, admittedly however to gain again right before Japan when I had 3 months between acceptance and departure, and I figured I would never have “Western” food again and proceeded to eat EVERYTHING in the hopes my fat stores when burned at a later date would release the memory into my blood stream) or doing something healthy to change it (which I have done in the past, the first time making my brother who is a personal trainer set me up on a “lifestyle change” with my meals and an exercise program, the second time I just ate so well in Japan and biked everywhere, as in pedal bike) my real desire is to cut out food all together and reach for a handful of Phentermine.
Despite healthy options here I just go straight to the bakeries. I love them, I adore them, I have no will power.
Sigh, maybe after committing it to Blog space I will finally stop hitting the bakery twice a day (breakfast - pastry, lunch - streussel, or however you spell it, an amazing combo of pastry, icing sugar, and butter drenched backed crumbs on top) and start eating ok. (Because this is not weight that comes with age, but rather weight that comes from a pastry/chocolate diet heavy on the cheese and beer).
I am really starting to like living here in Stuttgart, (as in for Stuttgart, and not just for the fact Europe is easy access), but I need to cut back on the baked goods. Not the beer and chocolate however, that is just inhumane!
I mean the name alone should tip you off. 
(although I do really want this stamp anyway). But I have purchased a book aimed at adults, in particular women, as I have bought my first romance novel period. As a teen I loved horror novels in the Kinglet style like Dean Koontz and comics (the closest I got was V.C. Andrews in grade 6 and 7, and that shit is just f*&ked up),then in univeristy I was introduced to Canadian and Russian lit, and so I missed out on the romance genre. Actually I read Gone With The Wind and loved it, but I dont see myself venturing that way in German any time soon!