Sticky Apple Kisses

This is one of those times when I have to sit and soul search and accept that maybe, just maybe, it must be me. I am once again reduced to using a German keyboard as I use Patrick´s old laptop. A laptop that he has had for about 5 years and that made it to Turkey and back (on a motorcycle), and more importantly, has only one minor thing wrong with it - somewhere on that trip the thingy that allows the battery to charge up broke. So unless its plugged in it doesnt work. Not great for a laptop. But fine as a desktop. So he has had 2 laptops in 5 years, and really could get away wth just one.

I however am on my third laptop. The German´s last comment upon leaving was “DONT punch my laptop.” He wasnt really kidding. But this time it was not violence that ended the life of my computer. I did nothing. I plugged it in to charge and I heard a crackling noise and the air filled with smoke. Surely that is not my fault. I didnt jump on it as I am often tempted to do.

sigh

and so now I have to wait a week (maybe more) while they send me a new power pack. And I´m looking into pressure washers. Because there is another area I need to do some soul searching in. My kitchen has a never ending supply of dishes. And the mood I am in now I would happily blast them all away.

Here in the Fatherland there are two things (among many others, but whatever), ahem, there are things that have drastically changed. Actually make that 3. THREE things that my friends when they have come to visit me have remarked on. The biggest shock seems to be that I cook. The other is my lack of shoes (and included in that would be a lack of new clothes). Lack of shoes and clothes are part of the other big change, I go out of my way to save money. (This may also be where some of the cooking comes in). Anyway, point being, as mentioned in a previous post, while home I took advantage of the awesome Boxing Day sales that this area of Germany lacks. Shoes here are expensive, and I would rather travel. Plus I am also super hard on my shoes; case in point:

and the other pair I have been wearing non stop:

But the others are far too pretty to destroy! PLUS after breaking the other pairs in I am far too lazy to put in the required effort when I know there are 2 broken in pairs.

and in fairness I think I choose pretty AND practical

The heels on most are not super high:

I love these ones as well, and they are super comfy, but I dont want them to end up like my last ones!

However my absolute favs are in fact the worse offenders:

However this picture makes me want to slow down the desire to rush out and buy from this list of best diet pills, because I KNOW my feet dont squish out like that, which makes me think that I am not as squishy as the camera portrays me as as well!

Either way, preeeeeeeeeeetttttttttttttyyyyyyyyyyy

We here in Deutschland have two choices when it comes to movies, see it late dubbed in German, or wait a few months and hope the only original language cinema in the area (at least the only one that does not involve me prepositioning solders) picks it up half a year later. And tonight was the big premiere of Kung Fu Panda, which considering it was only a month late is not so bad. And I must confess I loved it. To the point where I was hee hawing my cackle (much to the dismay of all around me, but as I went by myself not to the public embarrassment of my friends. You should have seen me at Juno, the girl I was with threatened to move.) But this evening saw me alone as everyone else had something else to do besides hang with me, and despite the fact that the money I now have must do me for the next 3 months as I travel from here to Turkey and back, I decided to indulge myself. One of the nicer parts about living in a tent instead of opting for luxury vacations, 10 Euros may be a room with a shower, but then biker boots kind’ve make the whole clean thing moot anyway. Bring on my fat kung fu pandas!!!

Some families are serious and spend their time talking about the “important” things in life, comparing term life insurance, mortgage rates, investments and stock portfolios. Me and mine. we like to send insulting videos to each other, preferable of something that will upset the other person, or at the very least give a giggle.

I share my latest goody I sent to my baby brother, who made it worth it by almost peeing he laughed so long, before becoming upset as he wondered which group I may have been suggesting he was.

This is so not politically correct, you’ve been warned, I don’t want emails about it. I mean the name alone should tip you off.

My brother has ADD, before you groan and roll your eyes (as I often do whenever declares themselves to be ADD), this is one case where he was not medicated for the sake of medication and lack of consistent rules from my parents. There are real cases of ADD out there, and there are kids out there who know that there are no consequences for their actions, and therefore act accordingly. My brother learned to love soap as a kid, and spent more time in his room or rubbing his ass because he did not understand the concept of consequences. For him life existed now, (and for that matter it still does) and there lies the difference. If you think to yourself, Im not going to get into trouble, or lasting trouble at least, chances are your just a brat, if you dont even get that far in your logical reasoning, chances are your ADD.

And my brother put my family through enough crap that I am allowed to make such sweeping generalizations, let the hate mail begin.

However I wonder if it rubs off somehow. I have 3 hours off this afternoon, and I really wanted to take advantage of it to study for my written theory exam. Instead I am reading blogs (but refraining from commenting, as if that makes it all ok ) and checking out equestrian clothing, because I confess, I thought it had to do with white robes and tin foil hats.

Anyone want to throw 95 Euros out the window?? (That is what the written test costs). Come over and hang out with me for the afternoon then.

Sigh

See cant be ADD, I know the consequences and I feel guilty about it.

This was just one of those weeks, the first week back to a regular work load after some time off traveling with my parents, and also the kind of week where if it can go wrong it will and does go wrong. But this mornings class was lovely, it is hot and sunny out, Im forsaking the gym for a beer in a beer garden with friends (and for anyone with a comment on why that’s why I’ve rounded out my figure in Germany you can bite me, I have after all, had one of those weeks) , and even if my savings account does not like it, I am treating myself this afternoon!

Today I had another motorcycle lesson and my trainer told me that as long as the paperwork gets processed quickly to get me in and sitting down to write the freaking paper test I should be able to take the exam by the first week of June. So , hopefully (fingers crossed all over the place!) this little paperwork thing hasnt set back the license as far as I thought, and this fractional ownership thing that is going on with Betty is ending, and Patrick is going to have to go out and replace Emma and stop driving my baby! (I also need to remember that whole right before left thing when we leave main roads, which Canada doesn’t have. I frustrate my instructor because the driving is not the problem, but the traffic rules are, whereas all his other students seem to have the opposite problem before a test).

Mom and Patrick on Betty because Im not allowed to legally drive her. Sniff!

We need to clean clean clean. It’s not that we leave food everywhere or we are dirty, but we are lazy and there are papers and books everywhere. As in everywhere. As in it looks almost as bad as when we first moved in. The only reason I know this pic is from when we were moving in is because the Thai covering is missing from the chest.

We need help! I wonder if places like movers New York will just come and take it all away without making you move.

So in light of the cryptic note and the general feelings of hmmmmmmmm, I looked back at my old 365 days project, in particular from Turkey, when I was eating lots but was still happy with my cheeks. Funny enough one of the more popular ones was the one I took in the bathroom I shared with the family’s sister, one that as far as bathroom vanities went, was pretty sweet.

Although in truth I prefer this one, even if the vanity is not as fancy.

However both suggest that the riddle is that I have gained a little weight damn it.

I have a bracelet that much to my present partners chagrin never comes off. The truth of the matter is it physically hurts to come off and requires cream and pulling. (and yes the bakeries have made an impact on my body, but from the get go this bracelet was like that). He hates the bracelet because it is basically a rock that I clunk him with even when I am trying to be sweet and just giving him a hug.

I bought the bracelet in China. The year I was teaching in Japan we decided that China would be a great destination for Christmas. While our friends went to Thailand we went to Beijing, while they sipped cocktails on a beach, we froze to death on the the Great Wall.

Why go someplace warm in the winter months when you can go in July/August and experience the true heat a Thai summer offers? Ah well, you live you learn, and the trip was awesome despite the cold.

However we decided rather than take the chance of murdering each other as we tried to navigate China on our own, that we would book a tour and have it all taken care of for us. (We figured that the fewer opportunities for an easy dumping of a body the more likely we were to avoid indulging in it.) This translates into whisked from factory to factory while they attempt to make you buy things before depositing you to freeze your ass off on the wall for an hour.

One of these factories just happened to be a Jade factory, and before entering we had tales spun to us of Jade bracelets, and how they are family heirlooms to be passed on from generation to generation. My eyes glazed over and I went into a Jade induced trance. That I never had any intentions to reproduce meant nothing (despite my partner pointing out the fact repeatedly), I wanted a jade bracelet. It was Christmas day, I deserved a present!

I figured it was not like it was a gold bangle, and it was China, how expensive could it be? That I had not bothered with conversion yet did not disturb me. That I had freshly paid off my credit card with my newly made yen also did not disturb me, that it was therefore empty and ready to absorb almost anything I put on it was not in my mind.

John, bored by the entire process wandered off, and just as I was pulling out my card I saw him coming, screaming no, almost in slow motion, before grabbing my card and wrestling it out of my hand.

I almost plunked down 1500 dollars for that bracelet.

5 minutes later, after declaring it was Christmas, I paid 250 for it.

I still suspect I was ripped off, but it has since passed an independent Jade quality test. But still. Gaaaaaaaa